Archive for the ‘Rage’ Category

5 Stages of Looming Layoffs

March 28, 2014

5 Stages of Looming Layoffs.

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Believe in Your Mission; Never Give Up : CareerFuel

August 9, 2013

Believe in Your Mission; Never Give Up : CareerFuel.

If Apple Wouldn’t Hire Steve Jobs, What Chance in Hell Do You Have? : CareerFuel

June 21, 2013

If Apple Wouldn’t Hire Steve Jobs, What Chance in Hell Do You Have? : CareerFuel.

I’m Sorry Job Applicant, You’ve Been Chopped

February 1, 2013
swamp

Swamp People

I’m thoroughly convinced that if my experiences seeking full-time employment were a reality TV series it would be a mish-mash of “Millionaire Matchmaker,” “Swamp People” and my personal favorite, “Chopped.”

I’ve been to the “Chopped” kitchen so many times while looking for work that the Food Network is calling me for mystery basket ingredients. Kale, mung fruit, circus peanuts and whatever Andrew Zimmern can’t stomach would be in my first-round entrée basket.

Ted Allen

Ted Allen

And Ted, wipe that smirk off your face.

For starters, every job you go after is a little like “Millionaire Matchmaker,” which is a real guilty pleasure. You apply. Your profile catches the eye of some human resources manager, and the next thing you know you’re at a mixer where meet your millionaire (aka the person or person who holds your fate in their hands).

All of this, fortunately, is done without the help of the ever-caustic Patti Stanger who hosts the Bravo series. I just know she’d tell me to dye my hair, dress more provocatively and perhaps have some sort of augmentation done.

Sorry Patti, millionaire or not, I’m not changing a thing — unless of course it comes with a 401K, health insurance and casual Fridays, then we’ll talk.

Patti Stanger

Patti Stanger

On the other end of thespectrum, job hunting reminds me a lot of “Swamp People,” the History Channel’s homage to life on the bayou complete with gators and mudbugs.

Much like the swamp people, every day you get in your little boat looking for alligators, and the results are always the same. You find a big old gator, rassle with him some, and then your buddy Junior puts a hole in him and you cruise on home feeling like Ishmael.

Except in my version of this Cajun nightmare, there is no Junior, no gun, and the gator does his death roll, gets away leaving me wet, exhausted and empty-handed. Sound familiar to any of you folks out there who have been through two or three rounds of interviews only to be told “sorry, you just aren’t quite the right fit?”

But the reality show that gives me the most hope for my future is “Duck Dynasty,” the show where a bunch of rednecks strike it big making duck calls. Sort of like “the next thing you know old Jed’s a millionaire.”

What job-seeker hasn’t dreamed of making a big score producing a relatively obscure item, growing their hair and beard out ZZ-Top style, and then buying every man-toy you can get your hands on. And every day is “Camo Casual Friday.”

So in life as well as in reality TV there are “Hoarders” and “Mudcats,” “Sons of Guns” and “Moonshiners,” but contestants it’s time to look at the items in your final mystery basket. In it you find hope, pride, experience and perseverance … you’ve got 30 minutes to make a dessert.

I must caution you competitors, don’t hog the ice cream machine, or you will be chopped!

It’s OK To Rage Against The Machine

January 8, 2013

rage_against_the_machine_by_philliard-d5bsh86

I’ve been known to rage against the machine on occasion.

Like most people, I’m especially brave when the machine can’t fight back against my rant.

Recently I got a call from my computer support team asking me if I wanted to “optimize” my machine to make it run more efficiently. I was a little leery because the last time they did this I spent days finding passwords, bookmarks and other key elements I need to do my work.

Because I’m a contract editor and writer, my computer is my lifeblood. I can’t afford for things to go missing or not work, so I pay roughly $200 a year to this support company to provide technical backup.

For the most part they are pretty good. They diagnose my periodic issues and help me solve them.

Now I’ve been burned a time or two, so I definitely believe we are too soon old and too late smart.

I have invested in remote backup devices only to have them do headers onto the floor. You learn a lot about “clean rooms” and data retrieval software when this happens.

And that big company that promises to backup all your computer files regularly. Good company, but it took me nearly three weeks to get my data back and it sure wasn’t in the order that I had it in. I’m still looking for files nearly a year later.

So when my support guy said optimize, I said, “This won’t affect my passwords, right?”

First he said yes, and then checked with someone else on his end and the answer was still yes.

That should have been my first clue. The optimization took about 10 minutes, but when the reboot was over, all my passwords and user ID’s in Firefox were gone. I called the company; we reset the system to before the optimization — nothing.

I had the support people reset it again — still nothing.

I registered my ire and fear with the company rep who said he would move it up the food chain to the expert group. I reminded him that what had been promised to be safe had now eaten up my passwords and nearly four hours of my time.

Fearing I had nothing to lose, I suggest my time was valuable and the loss of passwords could set my business back thousands of dollars. So I told the tech my billable time was $99 an hour, which is about what I figured a service tech would charge.

Funny how the paper trail runs dry when there is a screw up on their end. My case number was passed on to the expert group and I got a call four days later. Within 10 minutes of looking at the “saved passwords” portion of Firefox (like I hadn’t already done that a million times, plus Googling how to retrieve lost FF passwords) the so-called expert gave up and told me my passwords were toast.

Honey Boo Boo would have been more help, or at least trended better on Twitter.

OK, if this wasn’t so pathetic it would be a LOL moment.

So here’s where I raged against the machine, full-knowing I’ll never win. I sent an email to the experts group at the support company informing them that I was billing them for $396 and would appreciate a check for that amount to be sent to me. Heck, I’d even take it in an extension of my contract.

OK, get ready to LOL. I got a note back saying it had once again been passed up the corporate food chain.

Stay tuned. I’ll let you know if rage equals cash one day.

PS – Fearing the worst I had previously taken a screen shot of all my passwords, so all was not lost.