Beware: Vampires Walk Among Us

We’re fixing the hole where the rain gets in.

The hole where the rain gets in.

Actually, a burly guy in a truck is going to fix the hole where the rain gets in. And then another burly guy in a truck is going to come and patch the drywall that we so masterfully punched a hole in when we realized that the bubble in the ceiling wasn’t coming from the moisture inside the house so much as from a steady leak from the outside.

Which brings me to my real topic for today. I’ve long held that there are two types of vampires that walk amongst us.

Sorry “Moonlight” fans, these insatiable blood suckers have nothing charming about them.

The first type of vampires are what I call energy suckers.

You know what I’m talking about. Every office has them. They are people who walk up and just suck the life out of you with their constant nit-picking, grouchiness or otherwise end-of-the-world gloom and doom.

I’ve known about energy vampires for a long time, and yet like most people I still fall prey to their various plans now and again. Most energy vampires have no idea that they are among the undead. They might not even know they’re grumpy.

But the newer of my two vampires are the money suckers. Just when you think your budget might be under control or you’ve extended yourself just a bit to make a purchase, the money-sucking vampires make themselves known.

These vampires are crafty. They know when you get $100 bonus in your paycheck. They know when the tax man sends an extra $1,000 your way. They even know when your reach down into that old sport coat pocket and find a $5 bill.

And these vampires can take many forms. In my life, they are quite frequently automobiles. Just when you think all the rolling stock is in good shape, along comes a broken air conditioner or broken muffler bearings.

I knew for a long time that the house painting vampire was waiting for me. He sat there and mocked me for some time with his fading colors and peeling slabs of contractor beige.

Beware of the money vampires -- they're everywhere!

And just as I was about to plunge the stake through the heart of the house painting vampire, the hole came popping through the roof. Rats! A vampire I hadn’t planned on.

Luckily I know a slayer. Did I mention we’re fixing the hole where the rain gets it? It keeps my money from wandering. Where it will go.

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One Response to “Beware: Vampires Walk Among Us”

  1. Jenn K Says:

    That sucks! (Pun intended)

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